The Magic of Thinking Big - Chapter 03

Recognize that fear is real before you can hope to conquer it. Dr. Schwartz claims that all fear stems from negative imagination, and that it's responsible for the majority of failures in the population.

"Fear prevents people from getting what they want from life, " he says.

Since we cause our own fear, we can also create and develop our own confidence. The best cure for fear is action. Recounting your troubles, justifying your lack of results, and lamenting about the unfairness of the system doesn't necessarily cure your troubles. The real question is, "What are you doing about it? What are you doing to correct the situation?" Hoping, praying, wishing by themselves don't cure your troubles, unless they're accompanied by action.

Dr. Schwartz advises two courses of action

we can take to overcome fear.

The good doctor compares our brains to a memory bank which stores up memories that either support or hinder our confidence about a particular situation. If you've stored up more negative memories and thoughts than positive ones, then you will most likely be fearful when you come across a similar situation in the future.

So what's the trick?

Store up many more positive memories than negative ones.

As far as possible, remind yourself of positive experiences in your life. Write these positive experiences in your journal and gently peruse through it from time to time and read about how wonderful you are.

The act of writing deposits positive memories in your memory bank, from which you can gladly withdraw when the need arises.

Count your blessings. Make a list of things you're grateful for. Make a list of your accomplishments for the day. Make a list of all the promises you've kept, to yourself and to other people. Look at your vision board before you go to sleep and recount the steps you've taken to get closer to your goals.

Pay attention to how you feel. Your feelings are closely related to your thoughts. If you feel down, that means you're thinking more negatively than positively. Gently redirect your thoughts towards positivity by using the methods listed above.

Schwartz also suggests a simple yet powerful way to frame negative interactions with people. He relates an incident he witnessed at a hotel in which a guest was rude to the booking clerk. The clerk remained calm and never lost his temper. Eventually Dr. Schwartz got a chance to speak to the clerk about the gruesome incident he'd just witnessed. To the doctor's surprise, the clerk's framing of the situation was like nothing he'd heard before. The clerk said, "he's really not mad at me. The poor family may be in trouble with his wife, his business may be failing. Underneath he's probably a really nice guy. Most folks are."

How's that for a positive attitude?

"To think confidently, act confidently. Motions are the precursors of emotions. Force yourself to smile. Force yourself to stand tall. Force yourself to project your voice louder. Act the way you want to feel."

Finally, Dr. Schwartz lists 5 ways

each of us can use to increase our confidence: