How to Win Friends and Influence People: Chapter 26

Instead of riding roughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, or criticizing without considering other people's feelings, how about we let them save face? How about we consider their perspective and try to understand their viewpoint.

The same rules apply in this case as well.  Begin with praise. Suggest the improvements you want to see. And then give them an opportunity to tell you their side of the story. And reiterate your confidence in them and their ability.

When you allow the other other person to save face, you avoid situations where the other person is evasive, embarrassed and feels resentment towards you. You avoid tension and unproductively high emotions.

Reassurance goes a long way in boosting the morale and performance of the organization.

Carnegie closes the chapter by quoting a French author,

Antoine de Saint-Exupery, who wrote,

"I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."