How to Win Friends and Influence People: Chapter 16

Carnegie thinks it's a bad idea to ram ideas down people's throats.

He thinks it's much wiser to make suggestions

and let the other person come to their own conclusions.

It's part of how you make people feel important.

By making them feel like they're smart and creative,

and in control of their destiny.

It's kinda like what salespeople always say, "People hate to be sold, but they love to buy." So your job is to guide them ever so gently and help them to have their own epiphany about why they need to work with you. When you forcefully sell them or impose your ideas on them, they will push back. And both of you will lose.

Remember, when you're selling, you're not selling just to sell. You're selling because the client will benefit somehow from your product or service. So you need to help your client quickly come to the conclusion that they need what you're selling if they're serious about improving their life or business.

Same applies to your spouse and your children, how about you ask them what they want and expect from you. And also ask what you can expect from them in return. This way, they will be more committed to behaving in the agreed manner because they chose and decided what would make sense to them, and what is most comfortable for them.

Give the buyer an opportunity to create/develop the solution alongside you. How about you run an Ask Campaign with your clients and have them suggest improvements to your current service offering?

That's why companies use testimonials today, because they want you to sell yourself based on the experiences of people who were in a similar position as yourself. Once you hear how great these people's experiences have been, and how successful have been their results, you too will be convinced that you are making the right decision by working with this person or company.

So now, in your business or your life, how can you use this principle to engineer a win/win situation for all parties concerned?