How to Win Friends and Influence People: Chapter 15
The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
"Listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it.
Encourage them to express their ideas fully." Because if you interrupt people before they've completed their thoughts, they will only half listen to you as they bide their time waiting to interrupt you back so they can finish their thought.
That's why many salespeople lose sales - they don't listen enough. They don't give the prospect enough time to express themselves, as a result, they don't discover the prospect's exact pain points. And when it's time to recommend a solution, they prescribe the wrong solution because they haven't discovered the prospect's real pain points.
We all love the sound of our own voices, but it pays to let the other person speak. Carnegie shares several stories about how his students made massive sales, salvaged ruined relationships and got promotions all by talking less and listening more.
Are They Worthy?
Our colleagues, children, spouses, friends all want to feel heard and understood by us. When we listen intently, we convey the message that they are important to us and are worthy of our most precious asset, our time and attention.
Why do you think we have so many podcasts and YouTube channels popping up everywhere? It's because people love to talk, and they love even more to talk about themselves, their struggles, and their triumphs. So when you get a person talking about themselves, you will have made their day, you will have made a very positive impression.
Letting the other person talk about themselves makes them feel important. And we all want to feel important. People never get tired of hearing about their own accomplishments, but they resent hearing about other people's accomplishments. So let people talk and boast about their own accomplishments, and only speak sparingly about your own so as not to arouse resentment.
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