How to Win Friends And Influence People: Chapter 10

"Why prove to a man that he's wrong?

Is that going to make him like you?

Why not let him save face?"

Now, there are certain occasions that call for people to be proven wrong. But in meaningless conversational chatter, be congenial,

be agreeable. It's kinda like the saying that goes, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

What I gathered from this chapter is that it it is much better to seduce a person to your way of thinking instead of beating him

over the head and forcing him to agree with you. No one likes to be humiliated in public. They will dig in their heels and argue almost to the point of tears. Rather pull them aside and correct them away from the people he's trying to impress.

Why shine on someone else's shine?

Dale Carnegie concludes that the best way

to win an argument is to avoid it.
He says you can't win an argument because if you lose the argument, then you look foolish. And if you win it, you still lose because the other fellow will now resent you for hurting his pride and making him feel inferior.

As a salesperson, what do you do when someone claims that your product is worthless, and that they prefer the competitor's product instead? Carnegie claims that if you argue with them and attack the competing product, you have dug your own grave. Instead, what you should do is listen to him and concur.  After he's said his piece about the competition, then you can now get to talking about your own product and how it can benefit him.

If you argue against the competitor, you force the client to argue for them, and thus sell himself even more on the competitor's product. You may win the argument, but you will lose the sale.

He quotes Abraham Lincoln, who said,

"Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting

for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite."

In any argument or disagreement, you should always control your temper. You can measure the size of a person by what makes him angry.

He also quotes Jan Peerce, who said,

"My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we've kept it no matter how angry we've grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen - because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations."