How to Win Friends And Influence People: Chapter 04
Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere
Dale Carnegie suggests that we should study dogs if we wish to be masters at dealing with people. Your dog is always happy to see you. Your dog is always ready to jump around and play games with you. This is why a dog is a man's best friend - because they can lighten up your mood at a moment's notice.
Carnegie reminds us that you can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
He reminds us that people are infinitely interested
in themselves morning, noon and night.
He quotes Adam Adler, who wrote,
"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow
men who has the greatest difficulties in life..."
You have to be interested in people if you want to be successful in life.
Carnegie relates many stories of average citizens, with average skill, who experienced extraordinary success in life because of the way they dealt with people, including former US president, Theodore Roosevelt.
Roosevelt showed interest to the seemingly unimportant people who worked in the white house. He knew each one by name, and would stop to have a casual chat with them, and would even eat with them.
Headline
Carnegie also talks about why it's important for salespeople
to be genuinely interested in other people. He suggests that it could save your business, as it did for one Edward M. Sykes who was a salesperson for Johnson and Johnson.
Even when soliciting the help of other people, acknowledge that you are an intrusion, and do your best to take as much heavy lifting out of the way, and make it easy for them to help you or participate in your project.
Carnegie suggests,
"If we want to make friends, let's put ourselves out
to do things for other people - things that require time,
energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness. "
Be interested in other people. Ask them for their point of view.
Show a genuine concern for their problems. Ask them for help
if possible. Research shows that people tend to like you more
if you ask them to do you a small favor.
Carnegie quotes Publilius Syrus who remarked,
"We are interested in others when they are interested in us."
And he closes the chapter with this powerful message.
"If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, become genuinely interested in other people!"
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