The De Is Messing Up Your Relationships

The De is messing up our partnerships. Instead of focusing on what we deserve, how about we drop the de and focus on how we can serve. Instead of thinking about what my partner can do for me, how about we focus on how we can make life easier for our partner. Everybody knows their rights, but nobody remembers the responsibilities that go along with those rights? Everybody's thinking about what am I getting? Nobody seems to care about what they're giving. We all deserve the good things, but doesn't everybody include our partner too?

So let's all drop the de from deserve and instead focus on how we can serve. Which then becomes interesting, because you're focused on serving your partner, and your partner is focused on serving you.  The end result is that you both get served. Versus holding back, trying to get what you deserve, and your partner is holding back too. And in the end you both get nothing.

Somebody once spoke about a relationship being like a bank account. If you just make withdrawals from your bank account without making sufficient deposits, without putting money back into the account, at some point you will reach your limit and money will stop coming out.

Now I'm saying if he gives you money then you must also give him money in return. But you must also serve him in a manner that's important to him. What does he value? Give him that. Not what you think he should value. Give him what he actually values. And the same applies to the men. Give your lady what she actually values, not what you think she should value.

Remember this, all value is perceived value. There's no definite value. The buyer determines the value, not the seller. If the product or service you're selling is worth that much to me, then I'll happily pay it. If it's not, then it doesn't matter how much time or money or effort you spent creating it, I will not buy it.

And that's why it's important to figure out who you're selling to, what problem you help them solve, is it a real problem that they're trying to solve or is it an imaginary problem that fascinates you but doesn't matter to them?

What happens if they don't solve this problem?
What's the benefit if they do solve it?

Are they able and willing to pay for the solution?

If you figure that out, then  you're in business.